Tonight, during dorm meeting, God brought something to my attention that shook me, and it shook me hard. First of all, praise be to God that he has humbled me yet once again, and I pray that He would do it continually. For the past year, 2 years who knows; ever since I’ve been at Boyce at least. During freshman orientation Jimmy gives this awesome speech about being at this school and doing great things for God, and somewhere in the midst of this great speech he uses this phrase; “We’re gonna train you to do intellectual battle with the world.” And I have to confess that, that excites me to no end. To think that there is an answer to everything, and that I could be able to rationalize anything about God, and Christianity to the non-believer. To hold an intelligent conversation with someone who knew their stuff and be able to show them that Christians can converse with the best of them. I was pumped!
Recently I got a job at the music store. Everyone there is the prime example of the people that I had desired to “do intellectual battle,” with. These guys are cultured, smart, and some of the most intelligent people that I have ever met. And I thought that I was getting my chance. However, God, tonight has showed me, His purpose in this, and it is the exact opposite of what I thought, and what I wanted. “what does it prophet a man to gain the whole world and to loose his soul?” I was trying to gain the world, and wisdom, worldly wisdom, just to be able to talk to these people. And not really even to share the gospel with them, just to prove to someone that I was a Christian and that I was someone to be respected because I was just as smart as they are. How wrong was I? God has humbled me because of this.
My vision, God’s vision, caring for the lost, having a heart to win the world for Christ, to share the gospel, in love and faith. I was blessed with this job, and interaction with these people to learn that I’m never gonna be super smart, or gain worldly wisdom. All that I should be immediately concerned with is sharing the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the rest up To Christ. I have not done that. I’ve been trying to make these people think that I’m smart, and not some simpleton. How conceited! “friendship with the world is enmity with God, who ever is a friend of the world is and enemy of God.”
I hope that makes sense. In short, I’m gonna get back to my first calling, the only calling. Love the Lord God with all your Soul, mind and heart. To go forth and share the gospel. Thats what its all about. Who cares if I can spit out a bunch of big words. Even Paul says that, I did not come to you with words of flattery. I guess my point is that I’ve been concerned with being concerned about the wrong things, I’ve lost my vision. However, God has opened my eyes tonight. To Him be all praise and Glory forever and ever, amen!
Rock on, my brother, Rock on!
Man, I struggle with this a lot too. Thank you for your humbling words.